It’s disheartening. I’ve been on the job hunt so long it seems I’ve forgotten what it is I am actually good at. I remember being exceptionally good at a few things, being praised for my abilities in those areas, being sought out by clients/customers who needed just those talents and insights, and eventually being financially rewarded for possessing and sharing those talents and insights. But there are past dates and gaps and terminations and dead space, and between all that one hundred million applications to positions which “I could probably do that . . .”
The reward for my exhaustive efforts thus far have been a handful of interviews for jobs I thought I would really, really like – most of those advancing to levels three, four, and sometimes five of the interview stages – only to receive the much maligned letter, “Thank you for your interest in our awesome position, but we have chosen another candidate who possesses much more awesomeness than you. Sucker.”
So I have resigned myself to applying for, and accepting (with sometimes soul-crushing consequences) positions of vaguely similar description to that which I once held, but which come with the added slap-in-the-face bonus of less than half my previous salaries. Sometimes it’s enough just to keep an ego barely alive by placating it with at least some measly tidbit of an income.
On the positive side of this quadrangle, I’ve come to identify tasks and challenges which I actually enjoy doing. Imagine that! When we’re forced to let go of the “this is who I am/was” illusion that steady, reliable employment can often impress upon us, we are apt to find a few “this is who I want to be” and “this is what I’d like to do” identifiers that perhaps we might not have considered previously. Tear down the walls and you just may see the world. Well, a tiny bit of the world inside, anyway.
Now the trick is to belay those previous job titles and bland lists of accomplishments into an 8 1/2 by 11 inch billboard which screams to and magnetizes those “who I want to be” and “what I want to do” encompassing positions into your particular brand of Awesomeness. Oh, and figure out how to fit all your financial and lifestyle obligations and necessities into a trim little reduced-fat budget. Sometimes you just have to let go of a few things . . .
Money can’t buy you happiness ~ but enjoy that shit while you’ve got it!